The Human Coherence Trilogy
Three books exploring what happens when human beings reconnect with rhythm, relationship and meaningful presence.
A free digital story for parents, coaches, educators, leaders, carers, young people, teams and communities.
Book I — The Fractured Human
The Story We Don’t Always See
Modern life taught many people how to perform strength while quietly falling apart underneath it.
Not everyone who is struggling looks broken. Some simply became too overwhelmed to keep pretending they were fine.
Book II — The Rhythm of the Body
The Story We Learn Together
What if the body was never the enemy?
This book explores what begins changing when people stop fighting themselves and start listening again.
Book III — The Environment We Create Together
The Story We Become Together
The future will not be shaped by technology alone.
It will be shaped by the emotional environments human beings create around children, families, teams, schools, workplaces and one another.
Your Place In The Story
If you recognised yourself, your family, your team, your school, your workplace or your community inside these stories, you are invited to contribute your own lived experience.
These real human stories will become the living extension of the Trilogy.
Please download/open the pdf version of The Human Coherence Trilogy – scroll to read – and then contribute. . .
Example of true stories/anecdotes (all that is changed are the names/places):
KK was taken away from her abused mother at the age of 13 and entered a residential childcare home. She was the only young person in the home and initially this was considered correct as she had significant anger and relationship issues. KK was a selective mute and had not attended school for 3 years due to expressing violence towards other young people and adults. In an attempt to find herself and distance herself from who she had become, she chose not to speak and focus on being vigilant. She changed her name (on more than one occasion and also expressed a desire to be a boy). I was brought in to home educate her. I chose not to push learning on her but rather nurture a safe and trusting environment and relationship between us. I supported KK for 3 years, and during this period the greatest level of learning came from me and not her. I learned more about not just sitting in silence and doing things whilst being with her; but rather, sitting in silence and showing unconditional positive regard for her state of regulation. This regard was felt by her, She sensed emotional safety in the same immediate way animals often sense the emotional state around them. This genuine unconditional regard took me 12 months to master, however, it led to KK not only speaking but wanting to be a voice over coach and write poetry. Her reading age improved from a 5 year old to a 16 year old and she went on to pass her English and Maths exams. This coherence was achieved through me learning to communicate with someone else at their level – not mine.
In 2010 I had been running a football coaching programme for more than 10 years. It was a programme with a difference; it’s purpose was to support people become the best version of themselves, rather than simply improve at football and play in a team that tried to win. I was approached by a local high school to see if I might be able to help with a number of dysregulated 15 year old boys who projected a range of challenging issues. I went to meet the family worker who invited me and then met individually with as many of the ‘challenging group’ as possible. This was itself a challenge because most of them did not attend school on a regular basis. Furthermore, the boys rarely attended any classes , and especially meetings. Many were refugees, asylum seekers, travellers and students with SEMH issues. Most had parents who had financial difficulties, many had parents or carers who did not understand the importance of support, and as such most had never been involved with a team before. None of them were welcome at local clubs because they could not pay subs, never knew what was going on and were often too quick to start a fight and disrupt a stable environment. This story was written in support of The Human Coherence Trilogy because it highlights what individuals can achieve when they feel they are listened to, not judged and within a safe and trusted environment – moreover, it is written because at the time we did not perceive it would have impacted as positively as it did. I have summarised the story rather than give all the details. The details would have provided more emotion and context, however, I feel the emphasis is on coherence with you the reader, and you already have that in your own story (because deep down we share these deeper understandings). So, moving on – I invited those who would attend to a social gathering where we played pool, cards and music (their choice of music). I established honest ground rules in terms of no drink or drugs and balanced that with no other pressures to comply – just to be amongst one another, to be with me and with the additional support staff I brought in. This seemed to be new to most of them and they came back – but brought their friends – who were similar, but from different schools (who also had the same challenges). Within 4 weeks we had over 30 boys that many would have described as a group of wild out of control hooligans – from many different backgrounds, cultures and life experiences – but unified by an opportunity to be authentic in themselves. We never touched a football until week 6 and then we realised most had no boots or any form of playing/training kit. We overcame this through support from adults with foresight! This foresight was also given by a league committee, who after a few heated meetings agreed to not only allowing us to enter them as team into an established local league, but granted us free entry and no fees for referees. We survived until the end of the season. Survival is an interesting word to use, because it was a challenge for everyone. At the end of the season the players has formed a close bond with the other players, many had never had real friends before, and they socialised outside of the team as well, which was good for them. They learned respect for one another and for themselves – and for the adults who supported them. Most changed their attitude to school , and for many this was their last few years in school. They started to behave better in classes, in fact we even supported them with maths and English instead of football training – the school were over the moon with our support as nothing else had worked. The 2nd season was a turning point. We had managed to secure them all a new kit, new boots, and a regular training session. They all attended, and we always had at least 5 subs for every match, because it was not the football they wanted – it was a feeling of belonging and of someone allowing them to find themselves. They won the U16’s league against players and teams who had been together since being 5 and 6 years old. They beat teams who had academy players and high performing coaches. They had learned what coherence was, because many shared similar feelings of dysregulation, disconnection and lack of hope – they had been nurtured to experience what it felt like to not only respect yourself, but to respect others around you, they had learned loyalty – they showed everyone that we already carry the ability within us — sometimes it simply takes another human being to help us see it. At the time I knew what we were doing was significant, however, this opportunity to share it, has made me realise the importance of reflection, so we can make human coherence resonate about who we really are – not just what society seeks us to project.
Yours may follow. . .